How To Be A Better Man – 5 Tips That Actually Work

5 Essential Ways To Be a Better Man

For centuries, men have had to use their strength, instinct, and sheer will to come out on top against nature, conflict, and the various obstacles in life. Men have built civilizations, casted life changing technological inventions, and acted as an integral part in the family unit.  

The advancement of comfort, times of peace, and the luxury of virtually unlimited commodities have softened men. We are now lazy, boring, fat, and content with our lack of achievements. Our brains have become mush because of television and social media. Our nights are spent downing sodium drenched cholesterol ridden protein at Buffalo Wild Wings instead of learning new ways to better ourselves. Accessibility of information, historically cheap food due to mass industrialization, and a constant bombardment of advertising has made us gluttonous both on a physical and mental level. 

We run to the next Instagram post. We order an extra side at the drive-thru when we’ve already been satiated. There are 151.8 million men in America. 35 million are considered obese. An unhealthy weight is a symptom of many things including a lack of self-control, an obvious need to quench your fatty high-caloric thirst, and an ignorance of the better life which is out there waiting for you.  What exactly happened to us? How did we become so tired, weak, and pathetic? And what can we do to improve who we are as men? In this blog post, I will talk about how we men have entered into this lowly state of not reaching our full potential and what can be done to become a better man. 

Purge Social Media From Your Life Today

One of the biggest killers to motivation, success, and happiness is distraction. To achieve all the good things in life including creating a better version of yourself requires direct action. Direct action that’s consistent requires discipline. What’s the poison that kills discipline? Countless diversions. A big distractor and diverter which will continue to be a major issue going forward in society for anyone wanting to progress in their lives is social media. We are spending on average 153 minutes per day on social media.

What exactly is 153 minutes? That is a slow 3 mile run (60 minutes) that can burn off approximately 300 calories. What does it mean to burn 300 calories? If done seven days a week, that’s over two pounds of weight gone off your body each month. In ten months, that’s a 20 pound lighter version of you. If you are a slow reader, with the other 93 minutes, you can finish 62 pages of a book each day. Instead of doing these insanely productive things, your time is being spent quenching your scroll and feed addiction looking at what others have, what others are saying, and what others are gloating about on a small screen. 

I can speak for myself when I say this – I have never made any money or found any new opportunities by staring at twitter for over two hours a day. Having friends and interacting with them in real life has brought me opportunities. The amount of likes and shares I’ve contributed to technological society has reaped me no fruits or rewards. The amount of instagram followers I have acquired has equaled zero promotions for me at my job. Granted, if you are some kind of social media influencer than likes and shares probably do help – but if you are like the rest of us working class stiffs – none of these things matter.

Implementing The Compound Effect

Social media use is such a massive waste of time. I read this incredible book called The Compound Effect by Darren Hardy. He speaks about how performing small incremental actions each day within a long enough time frame creates massive changes in our lives. This is profound advice. I will give you an example of how I am trying to implement the notion of implementing the compound effect into my daily regimen. 

As of February 1, 2020, I decided I would write 3,000 words per week for my blog. Why? I wasn’t happy with my blogging results in 2019. My blog ended the year with 35,000 words. If I continue with this path of 3,000 words per week for 52 weeks, that is 156,000 new words in my blog which is almost the size of four novels. More content = more visitors = more revenue. I cannot write this many words without creating enough free time in my life. That free time has been created by purging social media from my daily habits. Because I cut down my social media use drastically, I am now finding that spare hour. On top of finding myself with more hours in the day to utilize, I have even seen my anxiety levels drop. 

In general, competition is a stressor. Fighting for that promotion, trying to look more muscular than the person next to you, and competing financially with your friends – it is all hard on the soul. If we could have everything we want without competing we would. Social media is one big competition. It’s a race to post what you’ve acquired in your life. Your new car, your new baby, your recent vacation – it’s all fruits of our labor that people are displaying. To you – these are rewards people are coming across in the competition of life. If you aren’t keeping up with them it depresses you. When you are depressed, you become lazier and fatter since you end up using food to fill your void. 

The bottom line is this – social media is trash. It is an obstacle to your overall wellness and success. You need to start purging it out of your system and your life. Not only are you losing precious moments in your life, you are adding on a heavy dose of anxiety. 

Lose Weight ASAP

Once you have said goodbye to Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and every other time-waster, you need to work on yourself. I need to be shallow here – if you are fat, you are not happy. Again – I speak from experience. As of this writing, I have a gut. My clothing is tighter on me, I avoid social events because of my weight, and I generally do not feel comfortable throughout the day. 

I recently moved to the suburbs and for six months I have become so incredibly lazy. The calorie intake increased, and the exercise regimen disappeared into thin air. If you are on the heavier side, you have to absolutely lose that excess weight. My wife gave me the following advice – as long as you hit the gym consistently, all will be well. I have to agree. Many of our problems in life stem from being in bad shape. What do I mean by that?

  • When you are out of shape, clothing looks bad on you. If you have a solid figure, cheap clothing looks good on your frame. 
  • Waking up isn’t easy when out of shape. I’ve been dieting extremely well the last three days and I already get out of bed with much more ease. 
  • You become so much more self-conscious when you know you are fat. Your confidence levels drop. 
  • You will have a higher probability of finding a better girlfriend or spouse when you look good. Unless you are rich, you cannot afford to be fat. Being fit will squash the prospect of loneliness. 
  • You have more energy throughout the day. With more energy comes more resistance to laziness. 

So many of our everyday obstacles are solved when you are in good shape. Within a two to three month period of moderate discipline, dieting,and minimal exercise, you can look and feel amazing. Obviously if you are very much out of shape, it will take longer. But the bright side to that is you will see results so much faster. 

It’s all about calories in vs. calories out. Lifting weights and speeding walking is highly effective, but the diet is what matters. For me personally, a vegan diet is best. Why? The amount of calories in vegetables is ridiculously low. Avoid cooking with oil and stick to a plant-based diet. One single cup of chopped chicken breast is 230 calories. Whereas 7.4 cups of cooked broccoli is the same amount of calories. Do you have any idea how filling 7.4 cups of broccoli is? If protein is your concern (which it shouldn’t be), you are getting close to 20 grams of protein within those 7.4 cups of broccoli. A plant-based diet is insanely optimal for weight loss. On top of that, you are getting a ton of micronutrients. 

Doing One Thing Only

Now that you are fit, no longer on social media, and spending your time wisely – you need to succeed from a monetary standpoint. I am a minimalist. I think life is a journey which can be simplified. When it comes to success, it is important to just do one thing. If you focus on one goal, one desired outcome, and one uniform idea, I do not see how you won’t succeed. 

As a personal example, my desire right now is to make this blog profitable. I want it to bring me a few thousand dollars each month. This isn’t an easy task but the one thing I need to be doing right now is writing content. As I mentioned earlier, if I write enough solid content, I will definitely get website visitors. I have blog posts that already rank on Google. If I just write more, I will see more results. Maybe you don’t have a blog. Maybe you want to be a nurse? In that case, you need to be studying your nursing material as often as you can. Quit reading fiction novels for a period of time and drop your Xbox controller. 

This advice even applies if you already have a day job. I am not saying quit your day job. Keep excelling at it. You have bills to pay and a family to feed. But once 6pm hits, you need to turn the switch on to the one thing that you want most from a financial standpoint. If you happen to be a student, you have the luxury of time. 

Keep in mind I just spoke about retaining your day job, exercising, and dieting all while pursuing what you love. This definitely sounds like a lot to put on a persons plate but in actuality it isn’t. Here’s 4 ways to pursue the one thing you love without being overwhelmed when it comes to maintain other aspects of your life:

  1. Exercise should be done on a daily basis. Pick a certain time to perform your routine. Right now – I lift weights 2-3 days a week tops. But there are at least 5 days a week that I need to run or walk. I do so early in the morning. 
  2. A proper diet is really just a proper lifestyle. When you avoid cooking with oil, opt-in for broccoli instead of fried chicken, this really isn’t interfering with other aspects of your life. You are simply going through the motions but making good decisions along the way.
  3. Your day job is your day job. It is a necessity. Do not try and do anything for your side hustle or dream career during your actual job. You need the income.
  4. When you finally come home at around 6pm or 7pm and account for all the free time you have on the weekend – that is when you need to pursue your other goals. 

The one thing you want to do in life should be the focus when you aren’t doing anything. And when are we not doing anything of importance? The weekend and after work. I have been writing this blog post all week long during my free time. This paragraph is currently being written at 11:03pm on a Saturday night. 

Having Self Awareness

There have been moments in my life where I said something stupid and didn’t realize the verocity of my moronic statement until days later. Or I would do something without realizing how embarrassing it was until someone mentioned to me about the bad optics I displayed. If you want to know how to be a better man, you need to have self awareness. You need to know how you look, sound, and act from the point of view of a third person. Here are a list of things which culminate into our image:

  • The way we dress – from the bagginess of our clothing and its tailor fit to the casual or business-like style we display.
  • How we talk to people – whether we are argumentative, always playing defense, and showing signs of compromise and understanding with our language.
  • Our physical frame – do we slouch, show strong confident posture, and give off body language that conveys confidence.

The only real way to measure all of this is for someone to videotape you. I can only imagine how dreadful it would be to see a video of me being myself at a party. The second more reasonable and less invasive option is to have a friend or girlfriend watch you at a public gathering and have them take mental notes of what you did right and did wrong. This should be a person who you trust and has their shit in order. You don’t want to be in a situation where the blind is leading the blind. You want a person whose taste and opinion is of value. 

You obviously need to be open minded enough to be able to take criticism. Do not be offended if you are enlightened with the realization that your posture is horrific or you laugh is too loud and obnoxious. This exercise is here to make you a better man. 

I would also recommend you get a second opinion just in case. If you get consistent feedback on your image flaws, then a change is definitely needed. 

Suppose the feedback comes back and you are loud, horribly dressed, and give off bad energy because of your physical presence. What do you do ? Here are a few tips I can think of:

  • Poorly dress? Simply go to a store like Uniqlo where clothing isn’t too expensive and stick to conservative neutral toned outfits. Tailor pants is a must. If everything is fitted with lowkey colors, you won’t stand out which is a good thing. You will blend in and have one less outward appearance issue to worry about. 
  • Loud and obnoxious? Definitely tone it down and consider taking a public speaking course. There is nothing wrong with investing into yourself. My Rabbi who is an immaculate public speaker invested into voice training early on in his rabbinical career. I would have to say it certainly paid off. For a couple hundred dollars you will change an aspect of yourself that will garner more friends, business opportunities, and love interests.
  • Poor physical appearance? Whether it is bad posture or just doing uncomfortable hand movements, this too can be fixed. Either look into classes or watch hours and hours of videos of people who act properly in public. 

Being socially awkward or uncomfortable can be fixed with time. I am certain that if you put your mind into you, you can fix all of your outward flaws within 30-60 days. 

Conclusion 

So let’s summarize how to be a better man.

  • The first thing you need to do is find enough time to get productive useful shit done. We are so busy with life nowadays that it seems impossible however studies have shown we spend over two hours per day on social media. Get rid of social media immediately. Unless it earns you an income or helps your career, you have no reason spending 153 minutes of Facebook and Instagram each day. 
  • Once you find yourself with a few spare hours each day, work on something that will better your life. There are so many out of shape and obese men in America. Start walking, running, or lifting weights with your free time. Get in shape ASAP. The fitter you are, the happier you are. 
  • When you are in great shape, you are so much more confident, aware, and presentable. You wake up faster and with more pep. Even if you think you are in decent shape, there is always room for improvement. 
  • Making a good income is important. If you love your current job – great. If not, or it doesn’t pay well , what are you doing each day to move up from the standpoint of your career? You have so many hours each week to work on finding new opportunities to make more money. I bet you add up all of the spare time you have during the week and weekend, you will have at a minimum of 26 hours to learn to code, study for your CPA, or build up your blog. 
  • Work on your outward appearance which includes your clothing choices, your posture, and the way you talk to people. Have a few friends critic you while you are in a natural social environment so they can take notes of what you do right and do wrong. Don’t be angry against constructive criticism. Implement the necessary changes. 

For most of us, life isn’t that hard. We make it hard. Our inertia, laziness, and predisposition to succumb to distractions creates added obstacles we could easily avoid. This can all be easily fixable with a little discipline and a solid plan.

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